Recovering From An Eating Disorder

– [Voiceover] My name is Harriet, and I have hope that all the
bad things I’ve been through can be turned into something good. That’s why I want to make this video and tell you my story. I remember having a negative body image for as long as I’ve had memories. When I was around three years old, I clearly recall my father
picking up another little girl and saying that he
couldn’t pick me up anymore because I was too heavy. I learned what a calorie was at age five. I grew up watching my mother
diet and exercise obsessively, which led me to stop eating breakfast and start only drinking weight
loss shakes at age nine. When I was about 10 years old, I started to feel
self-conscious about my weight. By 11, I was restricting
my eating severely, although I didn’t really
know what I was doing. I didn’t yet know that I was
developing an eating disorder. I made the connection between
eating less and losing weight around the time I turned 13. And by my freshman year of high school, I’d started exercising,
counting calories, purging, and restricting to the
point of hospitalization. Now I’m 17, and I’ve spent the
last three years of my life in and out of hospitals
and recovery centers, because I’ve kept convincing
everyone else around me that I was well enough to be home, even when I was really
just learning more tricks to avoid getting caught. I lied to the people I loved most, and became someone
completely unrecognizable. I sacrificed my strongest morals to protect something
that was only hurting me and taking everything from me. In doing so, I’ve missed out on so much of my own life. I don’t know who I am
without my eating disorder. The one thing I know is
what keeps me fighting. I want to be here. I wanna be able to accept
the help, support and love that surrounds me every single day. I am motivated to finally make the changes I know I need to make to
discover who I really am. When people ask me what I
want to be when I grow up, I tell them that I want to be happy. My goal is to make this year
the year I turn my life around. I want to look back on this year and feel proud of myself. My name is Harriet, and I have hope. I hope that people who
don’t know what it’s like to have an eating disorder
will have compassion for those who are struggling. I hope that people who
do have eating disorders will feel like they have a voice, and that they will feel less
guilty, alone, and hopeless. If my story resonates with
even one single person, I will feel like my entire
journey has been worthwhile. Having an eating disorder
may not be a choice, but you can choose to beat this. I can beat this. You are strong enough. I am strong enough. You are beautiful enough. And I am beautiful enough. You are enough. My name is Harriet, and I am enough.

Glenn Chapman


  1. Everytime I eat so much, I feel like crying… But, this vid….😭😭😭

  2. I have an eating disorder. I have been in and out of treatment centres, hospitals, and clinics for the past five years of my life. This video gave me more hope. I had staff members at three different treatment centres I was at play this video during group and have us discuss it after. Thank you Harriet.

  3. I beat anorexia TODAY and any person out there reading this comment, live yourself. Who cares about thigh gaps!

  4. I have ICD, Impulse Control Disorder. It's hard to live with it creates depression, anxiety and I'm stressed out for me. My thoughts hurt me and my emotions have taken over but for the past 2 years I've been turning my life around and fixing my life and starting new chapters, I have friends and people who love me for who I am. But ICD is still a big part of my life, and even though my depression, anxiety and thoughts and emotions are still there I can learn to control my life and I keep improving my self esteem, I can do this, everyday is a challenge but I want to keep going. I can do this. It's not easy living with it, but I know that's it's a part of me that I can understand and learn to work together and it's a part of me that I will always listen too and tell myself when it's wrong. I hope the people out there with behavior disorders to know, even though your can't control it sometimes you can do this. Because we are strong enough and we can live with it, I promise. Keep fighting to control your life don't let it take over your whole life. Keep going, I will so please do it. I will keep going and I won't stop.

  5. No matter what remember you're beautiful. Remember that no matter if you're thick or thin there is someone out there smiling because they're thinking of you. Remember to be happy that you're still alive and be the light in someone's dark. The the one to make others smile and remember that even if I don't know you in real life. YOU.ARE.BEAUTIFUL. I wish you all an amazing day/night and good luck in life!

  6. I went into recovery at 8 and came out at 11, been struggling still tho

  7. i hate ana. she deserves destruction. i wish to know who i am without being in a hospital, or therapy, or have ed. after 3 years, im done

  8. they should do a video about people with family members with a disability. Im 19 years old and I've been raising my little brother since i was 10. He has autism and it has really changed my life for the better and hopefully I'm changing his.

  9. This has helped me a lot. It has made me understand what is happening to me, and to all these people. I don't feel guilty anymore but I steel don't have the strength to call for help. Unless now I know that I need it and that I'm not alone. I can beat this. Thank you so much Harriet. I hope you are already recovered and enjoying life, if not, I'm sure you'll soon will beat this.

  10. Hey, Harriet here. Yeah, the truth is I didn't show my face in this video because I was in the hospital and I thought it might be triggering for other people and for myself looking back on this video. Voices are forever, and voices can't be a trigger to oneself or others. This video still helps me to this day because I see who I was at that time beyond the sickness. I like it because this video remains timeless, who I am and who I was, despite the changes in my body. I am still going through changes, and it's hard, but it helps that I can look back and remember what is constant: my honest and my compassion. That is me, in sickness and in health, and knowing that I am always there helps me less feel alone even during the dark times.

  11. I'm 14 years old and I weigh 175 pounds and I feel so sad and depressed about myself, but I want to recover from thease horrible eating disorder thoughts.

  12. There's a quote I read,
    "Be the person today that tomorrow's you is proud of."

  13. been anorexic for 3 years now,but yesterday night when I was about to kill myself for the millionth time,my mom came in and showed me this video.that midnight we decided I was going to start afresh the next morning.now it's the next morning and I'm watching it again,this time while eating breakfast (i have been skipping breakfast for as long as i remember).
    if you,are going through a similar struggle,I want you to know that my heart is with you and you CAN recover.

  14. I have that struggle it happened when I moved to Puerto Rico I was 10 and I was under weight because of me exercising a lot I ate when I'm with family I try to but I only eat half the food they give me my friends help me but it is hard I am 13 I now have to eat because I have fate because a girl that was my friend she died of not eating nor drinking she lasted her life and she was 12 when she died which triggered my recovering from my struggle

  15. my sister was/is anorexic I love her with all my heart… we all are enough

  16. Buzzfeed please tell us if she was successful! I need to know for reasons.

  17. was i the only one who paused the vid to read her fathers note? and whats an eating disorder?

  18. Okay I know this is the wrong time for humor
    But I TRIED starving myself because I thought I was fat
    And I didn't last 3 hours before I wanted chips and ate some. Like I literally gave up after 30 minutes omf

  19. I had an eating disorder 2012-2015 and I couldn't cry more at this

  20. This actually brought me to tears. I have been struggling with going in and out of eating disorders like anorexia for about 5 years now.

  21. My friend has anorexia and has been in hospital before and now after a year she is back in

  22. I Really needed this today. I have been being watched for and eating disorder for 2 years but have been struggling with food since I was 10 years old and struggling with my body image since I was 6. Something about this video really resonated with me.

  23. I'm scared to develop and eating disorder. People say I'm normal but I think I'm too fat. I only eat one meal a day and I feel bad when I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I look fat. I want to stop. People said I'm too young for this because I'm only 12 but I look around and all my friends are thinner and more pretty than me and that makes me feel so insecure.

  24. I'm an underweight male, and I want to say that it's not just about body image. Some people just don't have motivation to eat. For me, I just don't eat. I don't think about food even when I'm hungry. I just don't have motivation to do it.

  25. I've gone one year without restricting or purging and I'm the happiest I've ever been. It gets better:)

  26. i wish i knew what it felt like to be free from my eating disorder. :/ i don't think i'll ever recover

  27. You are beautiful girl! In admitting this you have overcome so much. Come eat with us. We will listen. I want to eat with you xx

  28. I feel like I'm making a turn towards anorexia, but I also keep telling myself that there's no way I could be because I'm too aware that I don't want to be that I won't. I've lost my appetite. I've been making little personal goals and feeling accomplished when I manage not to eat until two or three in the afternoon, but also not wanting to reward myself by eating a lot. I try to implement the rule that I won't eat unless I'm hungry, and I tell myself not to drink anything that isn't diet. I still eat to enjoy it, but I also don't do it often, and when I do I avoid eating full meals. One of my grandmothers told my other grandma she was worried about my eating and to keep an eye on my diet when I spent the week with her. I lost 6 pounds in a semester without any effort, or additional exercise. I'm a bit scared but I also continually tell myself that there's no way I'll ever go too far. I've been getting excited that schools coming back up, because it'll be really easy to try and not eat for an entire day. I don't know how my parents would react if I told them, and I don't want to worry my friends.

  29. I don't have a voice…
    I feel incredibly guilty….
    I am alone…
    I am hopeless…
    Why me?

  30. I'm really proud of you Harriet. You truly inspired me fighting with mine. Thank you.

  31. 1 year clean of Anorexia. It's beautiful to know I am not alone.

  32. You’ve really inspired me Harriet I’m a recovering anorexic and that really made me more motivated thank you xxx

  33. Oh lord. I have been insecure about my body for about a month but i have already resricted my eating. I skip breakfast and make it so i can't eat more than 300 calories per day.I am 11

  34. This video speaks out to me so much because you want to get better but at the same time you've had your eating disorder for so long you start to wonder who you are without it and you're afraid of who you would be once you recover

  35. Harriet you are a QUEEN and so god damn beautiful. Your story was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that

  36. I think I have anorexia. I've started trying to not eat. I'll lie and tell people i'm not hungry, I already ate, etc. My mom gets mad at me when I don't eat. I can't tell anyone because my mom would be mad or tell me i'm being dramatic. I don't know what to do..

  37. Recovering is hard and people judge you when you sart to regain weight its almost a daily struggle to be happy with myself still but I am proud to say I have been recovered for a year.

  38. I do the same things this person said, its been going on for 2 years. lost 40bs in 3 months. What do I do? Do I tell my Mom?

  39. 😢😊 the ending was really touching. "You are beautiful enough and I am beautiful enough" I loved that sentence. It made me cry

  40. a huge part of me wants to recover but at the same time.. i feel like if I tell anyone (other than my parents) they wouldn't even take me seriously because i'm not skinny. so it's a constant battle of "i'll just recover when i'm actually skinny" but this up and down way that weight has in general has made me super depressed lately. bleeeh. I'm going to try to go about losing weight in a healthier way… i hate that i've romanticized this eating disorder in my own head to such an extent. this video is beautiful. 🙂 thank you so much.

  41. Got tears in my eyes after watching this amazing video. Everytime I think about those mean words people said to me, I just can't help feeling bad about myself. Be strong guys, think positively. It is never too late to change!

  42. Learning more tricks to avoid getting caugh…. Thats exactly what i do … I dont know WHO I AM WITHOUT MY EATING DISORDER

  43. I am actually recovering from an eating disorder . It's hard . Recovery is hard there are times when you want to give in and not eat . But you keep fitting .

  44. I have the same mum and honestly I hate her. She's such an awful example, she never tells me things and doesn't apologise when she's wrong or take responsibility. She didn't raise me right, I blame her for my introversion and anxiety because she never let me express my opinions. She diets obsessively and always talks about weight and compares us and laughs like it's a joke

  45. I always come to this video when I feel like giving up. Thank you, Harriet.

  46. Meanwhile me watching this
    “Examines belly fat”
    “Plays with belly fat”

  47. i started feeling self conscious about my body at age 10 then starting restricting my eating at age 12 now i'm 17 and just now getting recovery..

  48. Harriet it resonated with me more than I can explain, I know you're probably 19 now, I'm 17 and I think we have extremely similar stories. I went to rehab for all of last year after being hospitalized more times then I can remember and I was diagnosed at age 11 with anorexia because of similar things plus some other trauma but I understand and I relate and I appreciate you sharing this with us and I hope you are still doing amazing because you are right YOU ARE ENOUGH ! And this is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, people have no idea unless their in it which I wouldn't wish on anyone but I wish they could see it through our eyes just for five minutes to see how hard it is. I never believed in recovery or contentment but now that I've accepted it I wish I did way earlier. Recovery is possible and recovery is peaceful and recovery is worth every ounce of fight that you have in your body.

  49. I’m 19 and my eating disorder is destroying me. It breaks my heart in half that such young kids especially are going through this

  50. Harriet, what a wonderful soul you have and you are very eloquent. I admire you sharing your story, especially like it seems like your main motivation is to help others. And, yes, you CAN beat this.

  51. i will recovery, i will do this for me, because of me, because i deserver to be treated well, and you deserve it all too, you will recovery, I AM WITH YOU E.D FIGHTER 💖

  52. I’m 17 and spent the last 3 years in mental hospitals and residential homes for mental illness and self harm…

  53. All love to you, from Britain 🇬🇧❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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